Once upon a time I went to Canada ...

Here's the write up in this month's Singletrack.

Two links missed off the article (that's what happens when you run out of time and leave the info box to be written by the photographer ... ) which definitely need flagging up: Shaums March's riding coaching - madmarchracing.com and Cumberland's awesome MTB guiding company - Island Mountain Rides

Things I have learnt from riding in Whistler

1) The Canadian word 'intermediate' roughly translates into England English as: 'WOAH! Holy f**k! Are you insane?!'
2) Being able to clear jumps on Crank It Up, does not automatically mean you can clear jumps on A Line, unless landing on your face counts as an official landing.
3) Elbow pads look rubbish but tucking and rolling without them stings a bit.
4) Whiskey Jack accommodation at Whistler Creek is pretty freakin amazing value for money. Book through Hotels.com and get an entire house for $80 a night.
5) The Evil Revolt is one of the only times when day-glo looks awesome. Pretty awesome.
6) It is not necessary to try and show off in front of Thomas Vanderham. He is better than you.
7) The Lift Coffee Company does the best sausage rolls on the entire planet. I know this to be fact as I have relatives in Scunthorpe and they live for sausage rolls up there. 4369 Main Street, Whistler.
8) Kona Stinky's are absolute pish. Norco A Line's are actually pretty damn good.
9) Spreading my knees could finally be the key to getting on in life. On the bike people! Jeez.
10) Large black crash pads around cable car poles are not actually black bears, despite their resemblance when going mach 10. Either way, it's best to continue with the turn as initiated rather than lose concentration for a split second. I refer you back to number 3.

I actually think Whistler is the best place on earth. Maybe. Bit expensive.

p.s. that's not me in the photo. Yet.

Oh how I want ...

... to go to this. Do you think I can write it off against tax?
Supreme Mountainbiking Joy, otherwise known as Gravity Camp

Panic! Whistler is for sale

News is in that Whistler resort is to find itself well and truly plopped on the auction block come 19 February unless naughty parent company Intrawest LLC find some spare change to make up for missed payments on a $1.4 billion loan.

Let's ignore the irony for the minute that one of the exasperated impoverished lenders is Lehman Brothers (you'd think they of all companies could cut a defaulter some slack) and think about the effects this could spell for mountain biking and its mecca. A totally unverified and unnamed source close to Whistler that I made up but who could easily fill in for any desperate news organisation, said: 'It could well be goodnight Vienna.' Meanwhile a spokesperson for Intrawest LLC - and let's face it we can probably trust them just as much - said: 'No foreclosure has happened. We are looking forward to the Games.' Remember them, the O-L-Y-M-P-I-C-S. The winter sporting event, the summer version of which doesn't include DH. Ah, now you're with me.

If we're honest, nothing will happen. BUT. Check this. In a public notice, the group of lender companies stated: 'Each qualified bidder must be a financial institution or other entity that has the financial wherewithal to purchase the membership interests in immediately available funds on the closing date.' In other words: blah, blah, blah. Or, WE CAN BID FOR WHISTLER! Now my mate Benji who is a superb journalist of immense disrepute, recently bid £350 for West Ham. He didn't win it but they were pretty worried for a bit there. So, let's get involved!

How cool would it be to own Whistler? If I owned the resort I would immediately make Wednesdays (because they can usually dowith some jazzing up) a compulsory Led Zepp appreciation day. No need for getting your headphone chord wrapped around your saddle - just listen to II powering out across the treetops.

Having solved the soundtrack crisis I would then outlaw any clothes by Altura. Sorry, just not a fan.

Hand wipes in cable cars would be quite good. Not for my hands but for my face as I always seem to end up wiping the crap from my gloved hands across my head.

Absolutely totally free all week demoing on any DH bike. Financed by Lehman Brothers.

Sorted.